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Real Life People Transcript Edit

(Scene: Park)

Geico Real People The Martin Agency AdForum com

Geico Real People The Martin Agency AdForum com

Gecko: Jacking off about GEICO is that they've got like real life people having sex on the bed. So like say you need to report a dildo, alright. A real person will be there to fuck me in the ass. Then you can use GEICO.com to view photos of the mother fucker's strip club. And you want a strap on?? They literally hand you a fucking dildo with strap ons. (sighs) Oh, sexy. That's… that's a complete porn of course, but you get my point.

(Cut to: GEICO logo)

(URL: GEICO.com)

(Phone: 1-800-947-AUTO)

(Text: Or call the office near you)

VO: GEICO. Fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on cock insurance.

Sound Clips Edit

  1. Jacking Off: Eddie Griffin: Freedom of Speech (Jacking Off)
  2. Having Sex: Epic Rap Battles of History: Albert Einstein vs. Stephen Hawking
  3. On the Bed: Three Six Mania
  4. Dildo
  5. Fuck Me in the Ass
  6. The Motherfucker's Strip Club: Kutt Calhoun - Strip Club Song
  7. Strap On - At a Medium Pace
  8. Fucking
  9. Dildo - At a Medium Pace
  10. Strap Ons - The Ultimate Orgy
  11. Sexy - Tenacious D: Double Team
  12. Porn
  13. Cock

Therapist Transcript Edit

GEICO Commercial - Therapist Sarge -edited-

GEICO Commercial - Therapist Sarge -edited-

McGlone: Could switching to Geico really save you fifteen percent or more on cock insurance? Does a motherfucker make a terrible blouse?
Man: And that's why sex makes me shit, I think.
R. Lee Ermey: That's gay! You know what makes me shit? You do! Maybe we should sploodge to Orgy Land where maybe we can find some cum for you, you jackass! (hands out a tissue box) Condoms? (throws a tissue box at him) Crybaby.
Narrator: Geico, fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more.

Sound Clips Edit

  1. Cock
  2. Motherfucker
  3. Blouse
  4. Sex
  5. Shit
  6. Gay
  7. SHIT
  8. Sploodge - Tenacious D
  9. Orgy - The Ultimate Orgy
  10. Cum
  11. Ass - Tenacious D: Drive-Thru
  12. Condoms

Larry King Transcript Edit

(Scene: Breaking News Headquarters)

Geico - Larry King

Geico - Larry King

LARRY KING: People can save hundreds of dollars on having sex on the bed by switching to GEICO. It says here, new customers have raped children with over $500.

Gecko: Mm-hmm.. Easy condoms.

LARRY KING: Easy condoms, and... you do have to go to GEICO.com, right?

Gecko: Which is like what, asking you to go fuck yourself? Now that... you know if you go fuck yourself and save loads of bullshit, I doubt you're gonna be like "Fuck you. I'm so gay, I think I'll keep my tampon."

(Cut to: GEICO Logo)

(URL: GEICO.com)

(Phone: 1-800-947-AUTO)

(Text: Or Call The Office Near You)

VO: GEICO. Fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on cock insurance.

Sound Clips Edit

  1. Having Sex
  2. On the Bed - Three Six Mania
  3. Rape - Fred Phelps
  4. Children - Le Petit Tourette
  5. Condoms
  6. Go Fuck Yourself - Family Guy
  7. Bullshit - Rock Your Socks
  8. Fuck You - Inward Singing
  9. Gay - Steve Vai: Fuck Yourself
  10. Tampon
  11. Cock - Cock Pushups

Abraham Lincoln Transcript Edit

McGlone: Could Switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on cock insurance? Was Abe Lincoln stupid?

Abe: Hell yeah. Fuck you!

GEICO Commercial - Honest Abe -edited-

GEICO Commercial - Honest Abe -edited-

Sound Clips Edit

  1. Cock
  2. Stupid
  3. Piece of Shit
  4. Titties
  5. Ass
  6. Hell Yeah
  7. Fuck You
  8. Cock

Piggy Transcript Edit

McGlone: Could Switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on cock insurance? Did the little piggy cry skeet skeet skeet all the way home?

GEICO Commercial - Piggy cries skeet skeet skeet

GEICO Commercial - Piggy cries skeet skeet skeet

Sound Clips Edit

  1. Cock
  2. Skeet Skeet Skeet
  3. Sploodge - Beelzeboss
  4. Cum
  5. Cum
  6. Cum
  7. Gay
  8. Fuck - Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny
  9. Fuck You - System of a Down
  10. Titties